Dream Chasers
by sweetkiwi604
Summary: That moment when the relationship goes beyond a friendship and reality sets in. Murphy/OC. One shot. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Written as a present for my favorite ginger since I won't be able to see her to celebrate. I hope you enjoy, my love, and Happy Birthday! :)**

Dream Chasers

When the world around you is changing we often find ourselves seeking out comforts from the past. The future holds the unknown, a fear of failure, while the memories of the past are concrete and dependable. Cassidy was twenty four years old with the rest of her life in front of her but all she could see was the endless papers that were being graded by peer reviews and a job where she was wasting her talents answering phones. Thanksgiving break came and she was on the first train back to Boston. She hadn't been back in a little over two years but she felt as if she was drowning and she needed to be somewhere she could breathe even if it wasn't for long. It was her comfort zone, the place she could always count on to put a smile on her face and give her the boost of confidence she needed when it all became too much, but she also came home for him.

Cassidy stopped in McGinty's and Doc welcomed her with a pint. It was the place she used to hangout with her parents, the place where her graduation party was held, and the place where she had told him she was going away for college. He had supported her decision and clapped his hand on her shoulder with a smile but she could see the slight dull in his eyes. She thought about how hard it was going to be to leave him behind when he had always been there and feared for a moment that she couldn't do. She opened the front door of her parent's house and sitting on the porch was a messenger bag full of school supplies with a simple note that said good luck.

She was fully engrossed in conversation with an old friend of her father's when there was a yell from the doorway of the bar that instantly put a smile on her face. The MacManus brothers walked in loud, laughing, and commanding attention like they often did and received a warm welcome from the rest of the patrons. Murphy almost didn't recognize her as he sat next to her and nodded in greeting. It wasn't until Connor had his arms around Cassidy lifting her off the stool that he realized who it was. Her once vibrant auburn hair had been dyed to a deep chocolate that only accentuated her baby blue eyes which were rimmed with dark circles from lack of sleep.

**X-X-X**

Cassidy sat at the small table in the MacManus brothers' loft with textbooks, notepads, highlighters, and index cards littering the space in front of her. She would have liked to say that her break away from reality actually meant having a break but if she needed to get some studying in if she wanted to pass her class.

"Can ya just hurry up?" Murphy griped for the third time in the last ten minutes. He hadn't minded that she was there. In fact, he had missed her and those red rimmed glasses that she had pushed on her nose to see the pages in front of her but he wanted to go do something with her instead of watching her study.

She barely glanced up from the work in front of her as she replied, "Not if you don't knock it off."

Murphy dramatically threw himself into the chair across from her and pulled out a cigarette, kicking his feet up on the table. He found himself studying her and wondering what might have changed in the last two years. They had spent many of nights together in the past but that was because she was his best friend. He was the one that punched her first boyfriend for breaking her heart, the one that helped her steal the school mascot, and the one that was always able to make her smile no matter what but there was something new that was bubbling just beneath the surface. He wished he could figure out what it was but for the time being he was just happy she was home. He watched as she mouthed the words she was reading, quietly whispering them to herself in an attempt to etch them into her mind.

"You're pronouncing that wrong." He played with the cigarette between his fingers as she glared up at him through her lashes. He took one last drag from his cigarette and snubbed it out in the ashtray, blowing the smoke over her head. "Push your tongue forward and make an 'O' with your lips."

"What?" She blinked in confusion.

He turned the index cards so he could see the word she was on and then showed her how it was supposed to sound. Certain she would say it right this time, she took his advice, stuck her tongue out, and tried to say the word again. He was silent for exactly one beat before busting out laughing.

"Here," he dropped his feet to the ground, grabbing her face between his forefinger and thumb to squish her cheeks in. "Try it again."

She did and when it still didn't sound anywhere close to his pronunciation she got frustrated, slamming her pencil down on the table. "I'm never going to get this. What's the point? Who needs a college degree anyways?"

"Shut up," he easily dismissed her negative attitude and pulled the bottom of her chair over so that she was sitting right next to him. In that moment he didn't care about leaving the loft anymore as he dove right into the wonderful world of Latin, taking her textbook and breaking the words down for her.

Cassidy was fascinated how much he already knew and listened more intently than she had ever before. An hour later and he was standing behind her, leaning over her shoulder to point out each syllable. He whispered them in her ear and she shivered as each inflection touched her skin, making her body heat up. Suddenly, all she could imagine was the way his lips formed around each word and when he went to whisper the next she turned her head capturing his lips with her own.

He didn't respond, completely taken off guard by her actions, and she furiously blushed in embarrassment. "And awkward moment of the year goes to me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I don't-"

Her nervous rambling was cut off when he kissed her, feather light as if scared to push her too far. She easily responded, opening herself up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck to keep him close. Murphy didn't want to break the connection as he hauled her up onto the table and stood between her legs as their kisses became more hungry and needing. Every emotion they had ever hidden from each other was brought to the surface and Cassidy never wanted to let that feeling go. They broke apart to catch their breaths and she rested her forehead against his chest.

"Well that was nice," she commented, not knowing what else to say.

He pulled a way enough to be able to look her in the eye. "Nice?"

Cassidy rolled her eyes and pulled him in for one more kiss before getting off the table. "What do you want a medal?" She teased as she started to gather up her things. He mumbled something under his breath that she was sure sounded like a yes and she smirked a bit. "I don't know if I want to go back to school."

"No one said it was easy chasing your dreams," he told her as she stuffed the last of her work into her messenger bag. "But if anyone can do it, it's you."

"I've missed you," she admitted with a blush reaching her cheeks.

Murphy smiled and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, "Yeah, I know." She held his gaze for a minute before turning to leave. "Hey, Cassidy?" She stopped with her hand on the door and though every fiber of his being wanted to tell her how he felt he couldn't get the words to come out.

"What is it?" she questioned when he hadn't continued and she secretly hoped that he would ask her to stay, to be with him like they should have been for years now.

He shook his head with a small smile, "Nothing. Visit soon."

**X-X-X**

Connor came home later that night to find Murphy out on the fire escape seemingly lost in thought as smoke billowed around him. Connor lit his own cigarette and leaned against the building. "Did ya tell her?"

Murphy was silent for a moment as he thought how easily it would have been to ask her to stay. He knew she would have said yes but over time the excitement would have worn off and she would have resented him for taking her away from something she had worked so hard for. Cassidy was a free spirit who wanted to travel the world after she graduated college. She wanted to take a trip to Africa and work with the elephants, spend all say with the animal that held a special place in her heart. She spoke often of wanting to visit Ireland though it wasn't for the ever green pastures. She wanted that feeling of finding a hole in the wall pub that had live music, the kind that energized the soul and united the people in the room.

He flicked his cigarette over the edge and watched it free fall to the street below. "No."

"Murph…" Connor let out a long breath, trying to find any words to comfort his brother while the other part of him wanted to smack him upside the head for not saying anything.

"I love her, Connor, always have." The confession was something his twin already knew but to hear Murphy say it out loud was enough to keep him quiet. "And that means making sure she is happy."

Connor nodded, "But what about you?"

Murphy smiled a bit and caught Connor off guard. "No one said it was easy chasing your dreams."


	2. Chapter 2

**Short but I couldn't leave it where I did. Hope you enjoy :)**

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure." - Paulo Coelho

Murphy hadn't spoken to Cassidy since that day in the loft but she still consumed his every thought for the next couple of months. He tried to convince himself he was okay with the idea of her being hundreds of miles away but it was a lie. Connor had gotten the date of her graduation from her parents and Murphy drove all night to see her. He stood in the back cloaked by the shadows as Cassidy crossed the stage to receive her diploma, something she never would have accomplished if she stayed with him, but the smile on her face was enough for him. She was happy and that was all he could ever ask for. His daily routine became too robotic, his heart tearing more with every day that he was away from her, and he almost came to hate the fact she came home in the first place. He missed her before but it was nothing like this. That day in the loft had put a rift in their relationship.

Much like her graduation from high school, Cassidy's parents threw a party for her at McGinty's to celebrate her finishing school except this time she was two sheets to the wind. She wouldn't deny that she was enjoying herself but when the MacManus brothers entered there was a twinge of nerves in her stomach. She hadn't seen them since she came home to visit and wasn't sure they would even show after she had made a fool out of herself. Connor kissed her cheek in greeting before moving further into the bar towards the table of food leaving her alone with his twin.

"Congratulations," Murphy gave her a hug and she awkwardly patted his back.

"Thanks," she mumbled into his chest.

When he pulled away he could see the storm brewing in her eyes. "Aren't you happy? You did it! You got your degree."

Cassidy looked up at him through her lashes, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "At what cost?" Her question came out barely above a whisper, the alcohol taking away any filter she normally would have, and as a tear escaped she just couldn't hold in her pain anymore. "You should have been there, Murph!" He reached for her but she stepped away until her back hit the wall, "I would have never been able to do it if it wasn't for you. You were the one who told me to chase my dreams and when I finally have one come true you were no where to be found!"

Murphy moved closer to her, placing his hands on her hips to keep her in place. "I _was_ there."

"What?"

"I was there, Cassidy. I watched the whole ceremony right down to the last second when you threw your cap in the air with the biggest smile I've ever seen on you. I wouldn't miss something like that, not for the world."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you come see me?"

He leaned in and captured her lips with his own as if it would answer any question she ever had. She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him close as she kissed him back, reveling in the feeling she got every time he was near. He pulled back after a few moments so he could look her straight in the eye. "Why didn't you visit?" She dropped her gaze and he lifted her chin with a hooked finger. "Don't have to be afraid to tell me anything."

"You didn't want me here," she whispered and swallowed the lump that had started to form in the back of her throat. Now it was his turn to be confused and as she watched an array of emotions flash through his eyes she continued. "I was waiting for you to ask me to stay. When you didn't I thought I overstepped a boundary. Figured you didn't feel that same spark I did."

"There is nothing I wanted more than for you to be here in Boston, with me, every day…but I couldn't ask you stay, Cassidy. That was a choice you needed to make on your own. I don't want to be the reason you wake up one day and realize that you missed out on something you wanted to do in life because I asked you to be with me."

She dropped her arms from around his neck as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Don't I get a say?"

"Of course."

"It's always been you, Murph. There isn't anyone else I could even imagine myself with and I don't know how we make this work. I don't know where we go from here of if this will even change anything…but I need to know you want to be with me too. I need to hear you say that you want me to stay because I can't go through that again. Those last few months thinking you didn't want me was some of the darkest I have ever experienced. I almost didn't want to come home."

"I love you," he simply stated, his breath fanning across her face.

It was in that moment that the rest of the world faded away. She could no longer hear the roar of conversation from the bar, she couldn't tell if the lights were on, or if the whole place had been set on fire because the only thing she could see was the man in front of her. The lanky teenager who she had met in high school had grown into the man that would hold her heart until her last breath. It didn't matter that she finally had her degree that she worked so hard for because now she really did have something to celebrate.

He hadn't said it so he could hear it back, he didn't need the reassurance of words he could see so clearly written in her eyes, but it was his way of telling her he wanted her to stay.

"What about you and your dreams though?" She questioned as she leaned into his side.

"Something tells me I won't have to chase them anymore."

He kissed her again but this time was as if they were both learning to breathe for the first time.


End file.
